Wednesday, January 08, 2014

Season of savings

I'm giving myself a challenge: for the next six months, I will save as much as possible. I need some cold, hard cash in the back and I'm willing to make sacrifices to do it. Although before we get too far down the path of austerity, I should specify that I consider plant-based protein powder, special cat litter, home delivered grape leaves and having my hair done necessities - but that list does not include going out for $10 glasses of wine or fancy dinners of any sort. I also bought a new pair of workout shoes before the start date because I intend to spend as much time as possible exercising. My goal is to have enough money socked away to either buy a little fixer upper or find a rental that I'll be comfortable in. In the meantime, I'm paying rent to Mr. Wrong and staying in the guest suite. So far (a couple days into our plan) it's been ok.

My actual plan will develop over time, but I'm going to start with:
  • Cutting way back on restaurant meals and cocktails
  • No new clothing for at least six months
  • No craft supplies unless I need something specific to complete a project.
Here's an inspirational post from a blogger who did something similar:

I can do this. I just have to keep the big picture in mind.

Monday, January 06, 2014

Slogging along

It's weird, waking up and making my way through a world that's completely different but still remains the same. I think as long as I'm living in the house (now thought of as HIS house) it will feel that way. I want to leave but I need to stay and save up some money. I'm not willing to leave just to make him happy and be basically penniless after I cough up deposits and rent somewhere. He's being very cordial and even feeds the pets frequently so we're not feuding like total barbarians... but it feels so strange. I KNOW this will get better and I'll be a happy, healthy, whole person again. Can't wait for the day I'll wake up looking forward to whatever is going to happen.

Wednesday, January 01, 2014

New beginnings

I'm slowly getting used to the sticker shock of rental properties here in Miami. I haven't lived in a rental since the mid-90's so it was quite an unpleasant reality check to see how much a pet-friendly apartment is going to cost. I have two important things to do today: 1) have lunch with my Chonga - who I haven't seen in WAY too long and 2) make a vision board.

Yesterday I sorted through books and made a big stack to donate or give away. Also spent some time looking at lower-priced properties for sale but without a decent down payment, that's not a good option for me right now. Plus I'm not sure what area I really want to end up in and don't want a place with HOA rules and fees. I'm pretty sure renting is the way to go right now, even though it will be depressing to see thousands of dollars flushed down the drain and not building equity in something. One step at a time... the first order of business is to get organized, make a plan and stick to it. My friend Torry was already planning a trip down here so she's offered to come and help me sort things out. I'm not sure how I got so lucky with so many good friends but they are all pillars of support right now and I can feel the love every day.

For my new place I'm visualizing a big, open living space with tons of light pouring in and a serene, tranquil feeling throughout. Also a garage. Gotta dream big.

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

State of inertia

Each morning I awake there's a split second that I think nothing has changed but then reality hits and I realize things are different now. This is the newly single me who must get up and act like a fully functioning human being even when all signs point to just staying in bed with bad TV a box of truffles. (If I had any.) It's only been two days but my routine is already in place: get up, have coffee, hit the elliptical and take a shower. This is pretty much the same as before my whole world changed so it gives me a sense of stability. I'm spending my week off looking for a rental I can afford. One that looked very promising yesterday didn't pan out as the owner (who specified that he would be available this morning) did not call me back. It will be a process. Just the thought of packing makes me tired but this is the perfect opportunity to pare down my possessions. Wait, I say that every move, don't I? Well, here's the goal for today: at least half of my books are going into the donate pile.

Monday, December 30, 2013

This too shall pass

I woke up hurting this morning. Actually, truth be told, "woke up" is a stretch since I really just tossed and turned all night. Yesterday the man I love told me that the anger he has been experiencing for quite some time is not a byproduct of external forces that we need to work through but a direct result of being in a relationship with me. What I heard: I'm not good enough. We've been down this road before where he becomes angry and fed up and decides he doesn't want to be with me any more. I'm not good enough. It's not easy hearing the words he spoke and feeling this way. It hasn't been easy seeing him withdraw over the past year. It won't be easy dividing up our possessions and finding my own place. I'm not good enough. I know that my intrinsic worth as a person is not tied to his opinion of me. I know that I'm a caring person who truly wanted the best for him - and for us together. I will spend some time healing and finding myself again and hopefully finding love and support from people who value me. I have the best friends in the world and I know my new family will be there for me. I know this. I know everything will eventually be ok and I even know this is the best thing for me - because why would I want to stay in a relationship with someone who doesn't even like me? All I can say is that knowing all of this doesn't do one damn thing to ease the pain that sits on my chest like a boulder and grips my head like a vise. I can't stop the tears from falling today.

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Polyp free in 2013

My doctor has been gently persuading me to get a colonoscopy for four years and for some reason I finally agreed last month. We booked the appointment for last weekend and I spent a few weeks dreading the prep day. Gotta be honest, I've never missed a meal in my life unless I was bedridden with the flu and even then I have a go-to snack: soda crackers. I knew that existing on clear liquids for an entire day would be extremely difficult for me AND I don't eat beef or chicken broth or anything with high fructose corn syrup so it's possible I should have spent a little more time researching what I COULD have. It was a totally miserable day. I was starving, had zero energy and found myself drinking a neon green sports drink by the gallon - and let's not even talk about how bad the actual prescription tastes. It took a superhuman effort to choke it down and I felt like throwing up after both doses. The procedure was a breeze. You just drift off to sleep and wake up all done and ready to go have breakfast. (Mine was at 6:30 AM.) The doctor presented me with a full color glossy of the inside of my colon and showed me three largish polyps they removed. At first I was happy to hear that because it meant I didn't suffer through all the prep just to find out everything is fine but then I learned that polyps tend to reappear so they want me to repeat the procedure every three to five years. (They said three, I said ten and we settled on five.) The good thing is, it's over with - although I had several missed calls from the doctor's office yesterday so hopefully they're just checking in to say the lab results are back and everything is benign. Is it easy? No. Is it fun? Not so much. Should you do it? Yeah, probably, if you're 50 they recommend it and it might save your life. This has been a public service announcement. Please stay tuned for more information.

Monday, September 30, 2013

Helicopter mom

We are proud to announce the arrival of a bouncing bab- er, 23 year-old boy. My adorable nephew Taylor came to live with us temporarily about a month ago but we actually want to keep him. He's firmly ensconced in the guest room and doing typical boy things... leaving a slew of dirty laundry and empty plates all over his room. I feel like I'm constantly telling him new rules - lock the doors, set the alarm, take out the trash - but it's been an adjustment period for all of us. His real parents (my youngest brother and his wife) are no doubt much hipper and more fun than us but even though we are crusty old curmudgeons who turn in at 9 PM (oh, wait, that's just me) - we still really like having him around.

Friday, July 26, 2013

Look, on the horizon! Visitors!

Ok so I've been neglecting my blog but this week is going too well to keep all the news to myself. We have not one but TWO important visitors to look forward to. First my nephew Taylor is coming down August first and staying for ten days of utter fabulousness. I get to introduce him to Miami and if he likes it he'll probably move down here. (And believe me, I plan to do everything in my power to make sure he likes it.) I'm putting together some ideas for fun but we're going to have a blast no matter what we do. He likes to thrift so I know where we're going almost every day.

In other great news, I just learned today that Joanie and Mike are also coming down sometime during the holiday break. We've been trying to get them to visit for YEARS so this is incredible. They'll like seeing the sights and having some big meals at home, probably, assuming I let Jeff do the cooking. I know our friends here are going to love them.

Tuesday, April 02, 2013

It's a girl!

We are officially sleep-deprived new parents. Our new Devon Rex baby, Callie, came home during Spring Break and we immediately commenced spending every spare moment trying to keep Shelby from using her as a chew toy. Shelby thinks she is the greatest puppy toy EVER so it's been a huge challenge to keep them separated, especially since Callie loves to play "swat the doggie on the nose with razor sharp kitty claws and see what happens." So far there have been no major altercations but we're missing all of our TV shows these days because we have to keep an eye on them every second.

Friday, March 29, 2013

Easter in a can

I saw the can idea on Pinterest. You open a pop top can from the bottom, fill it with candy and small items and seal it up with a glue gun. The kids get to pop the top and be surprised with the goodies inside. I used small items from the Dollar Store and the white and brown rabbits from Graphics Fairy. The tag on the back says Happy Easter and includes a warning that the edges will be sharp. It's awesome having neighbor kids... I can see them whenever I want and they do an excellent job of tiring out the doggy when we're too busy to walk her.